Tuesday 31 October 2017

Inktober 2017











So, my Inktbober this year was a bit meagre due to reasons which were out of my control. 
I've been sick for quite a long time and October was the month I started taking lots of extra shifts at work. Working 40+ hours in retail with an on-going health issue just exhausted me. Plus, I had massive expectations for the outcomes. I really wanted to produce finished artwork I could possibly use for my portfolio, but that was impossible with the time I had left from work. The first two illustrations took me about two days each, and left me behind from day 2. 
I was going to bed really late because I really wanted to finish my drawings, only to wake up wasted in the morning, rush into work and wear myself out. 
I wasn't even content with mere doodles so I just stopped all together. At the time I didn't think it was the best decision, and hated myself for not fulfilling my goals, but there's no point thinking about it anymore. If anything, this gave me an opportunity to make some life changes and take some important decisions.

I apologise for the quality of the scanning. I was using diluted ink which clearly didn't agree with the paper I was drawing on, so that's why it's all wrinkled and uneven. If anybody's got any suggestions on how to properly scan and edit black and white drawings please, do leave a message. I'm desperate for some suggestions.

Monday 13 March 2017

I didn't exactly have a nice weekend. Lately I keep thinking I've just made so many wrong decisions in the past. I can't bring myself to plan anything for the future, cause every time I do, things go wrong. And the present is just working. Finding the strengths I need to get out of this limbo is draining and surprisingly overwhelming. I don't think I've ever felt like this before, and I wouldn't even know how to talk about it properly. So, I just tried to put it down on paper, cause apparently it's supposed to help. It did distract me for a while and I guess I feel like I haven't completely wasted the day. For some reasons, these feelings always come back during the weekend. I'm generally fine during the week, as work occupies the majority of my time. Well, sorry for the depressing post. Again, I felt that writing it down would help a little bit. I just need to find more time for drawing so that I can just shut down for a while. . . . . #dog #whippet #dark #illustration #thoughts
A post shared by Eleonora Di Massimo (@gentlebree) on


I hardly ever talk about my "bad days", especially here on the web. For once I've tried to transform those feeling into something creative, and I've found it extremely hard. I was quite sad in realising drawing is not a therapy for me any longer, it doesn't relax me as it used to. I still do feel better when I do it, and maybe I should keep making more of these experiments, at least for myself.